Thursday, February 25, 2016

'The 100' 3x04/3x05 Gif-Tweet-Cap: Ixnay on the Ark-cray-dia

Welcome to my gif-tweet-recap of The City of Light! I mean, The 100! This week, I'm covering both "Watch the Throne" and "Hakeldama," where Pike goes insane, drags Bellamy with him, and Jaha joins in on the fun to make Arkadia The City of Cray Cray. The gifs can also be found on my Tumblr post, and you can listen to an additional discussion of the episodes below (3.04 will be added later), or subscribe on iTunes.
I'll start with "Watch the Throne," which is actually a pretty awesome episode, as far as Polis goes. Arkadia is already going down the tubes, and I fear for its sanity.

First, Lexa agrees to battle Roan, the Ice Queen's son (the Ice Prince). Clarke, for some reason, is positive that Roan is going to kill Lexa, even though she herself nearly killed him. Way to trust your GF, Clarke!
Meanwhile, the Arkadians are beginning to hate on all Grounders, ever since Ice Nation killed most of Farm Station. Pike's favorite bully Gillmer decides that Lincoln is one of these horrible people who killed his friends, so he throws a rock at his head. Ouch!

Pike settles everyone down, but suddenly the rest of Arkadia seems to be on Pike's side now. Their friend Lincoln is no longer their friend.
Meanwhile, The Great Wanheda (Clarke) is working behind the scenes to get rid of the Ice Queen so that her Lexa-poo won't have to fight Roan. But when she tries to poison her, Ice Queeny takes her runner-up Ice Queen, splits her hand open, and pours the blood on Clarke's face as a message to Lexa (and as a way to say that she's now enemies with all the Sky People, and will kill them all.

So, did you notice something odd about that blood? Yeah, it's black, because Hedas have black blood, aka Nightblood. When Clarke freaks out that Lexa is going to die, and all her people are about to die as well, Lexa reassures her by introducing her to Aden, a very very young Nightblood. Yeah, she's understandably even more freaked out than before.
Lexa doesn't disappoint however. She gives a good fight, and just when everyone thinks she's a goner, she pulls this move:

And then, to everyone's surprise, she doesn't kill Roan. Instead, she pulls this move:

And with that, the Ice Queen is dead, and it's all incredibly awesome!
Not so in Arkadia, where Pike decides to go kill a group of Grounders sent by Lexa to protect them, and a majority (?!!) of Arkadians agree that this is the way to go, and vote him as chancellor! Well, you've really done it now Kane and Abby! Way to keep your titles and people safe!
So the episode "Hakeldama" begins with the slaughter. Pike convinced Bellamy that this was the way to go in the last episode, and they ride off with their thugs and kill a bunch of warriors in their sleep, which makes no sense. But at least Indra is kept alive so she can pass a message to Lexa: that this is now the land of the Sky People.
Yeah, great. Lexa just finished killing the Ice Queen as retribution for the Mt. Weather attack that killed most of Farm Station, and now she wants to kill them all herself. Great going, Pike and Bellamy, ya couple o' douches!
Clarke's only hope is to convince Bellamy to stop with all this horrible nonsense, but he's all in now. He even agrees to lock up sick Grounders that could die without medical attention. At this, Lincoln has reached his last straw, and beats in Gillmer's stupidface over and over, then gives Bellamy a nice elbow to the nose. Sure, he lands in a cell for it, but it's entirely worth it:

Anyway, Clarke's convincing doesn't go very well, and Bellamy handcuffs her. WHY IS HE SUCH A DOUCHE NOW?!?!?! Octavia saves her from jail by beating up a guard so Clarke has time to grab a taser and stick it in his stomach. I HOPE HE PUKED HIS GUTS OUT!!

OK, OK, I'm OK. So basically, Clarke's only hope is to convince Lexa to be the bigger warrior and not retaliate so she can have peace in the land and such. Lexa actually agrees to it, against the wishes of her people because GIRLFRIENDS.
I should probably mention that Jaha has returned to Arkadia in the hopes of spreading his crazy all through the land. He actually starts down the road to success by convincing Raven to stop being miserable by taking his crazy pill (instead of, oh I don't know, having surgery to correct the problem?!).
Also, Murphy is out there somewhere being evil, and somebody nabs him and hauls him off somewhere. The end.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

'The 100' 3x03 Gif-Tweet-Cap: So 'Lucky' Someone Lived!

The 100 episode "Ye Who Enter Here" continues from where Clarke was captured and spat a giant loogie in Lexa's face in the last episode. The gifs can also be found on my Tumblr post, and you can listen to an additional discussion of the episode below, or subscribe on iTunes.

After destroying Clarke's entire life by betraying her so that she felt she had no choice but to kill all the Mountain Men, Lexa wants Clarke to suffer even more by convincing her to "Bow before Zod!!"... er... Lexa.
Of course, Lexa doesn't know she's making Clarke suffer because she assumes everyone (especially Clarke) loves her and thinks she's the best leader in the whole wide world, like, ever. But it's also a great deal because Lexa is offering protection for the Sky People as her own in exchange for that bow. Clarke just wants her to "go float" herself.
While Clarke tries to decide whether to trust Lexa, Lexa tricks an Ice Nation Dude into thinking she wants to give him a message for the Ice Queen, but the message happens to be his death.

Meanwhile, Abbey has moved all of Farm Station into Mt. Weather, but that doesn't go over well with anyone else, what with all the dead bodies that filled the place a mere three months ago, courtesy Lexa's betrayal and Clarke's willingness to protect her own people at the cost of all Mountain Men.
But then Echo, Bellamy's Ice Buddy, arrives to tell everyone at Mt. Weather that the summit being planned by Lexa is a trap for the Arkadians. He can’t reach his Ark peeps, so he goes forward with a couple of anti-Grounder plans: the first is for Raven, Sinclair and Bellamy’s new girlfriend Gina to get Mt. Weather’s missiles working; and the other is to storm the summit. After a nice brother-sister bonding moment, Octavia is all in on storming the summit as well. Of course, Pike goes along, because he hates all Grounders.
Meanwhile, Abbey is taking a lesson on diplomacy from Kane. For example, rather than rudely rejecting a Grounder delicacy as Abbey does, Kane thoroughly enjoys it (or at least convincingly pretends to love it).

Kane also becomes friends with some of the Grounders, such as Indra. They are such good buddies, in fact, that Indra actually smiles when she sees him. Who knew she could be so beautiful?

The summit goes forth before Bellamy can reach it, and Clarke does the big bow. Everyone else, including the Ark people of Arkadia, follow suit. Kane even gets branded as the leader of the 13th clan!

Soon after, Bellamy barges in to warn everyone, but it falls flat. When an assassin breaks into Mt. Weather and sets off a self-destruct bomb, Bellamy realizes he has officially taken a belly flop. Raven does her best to stop it, but retrieves the code just a few seconds after Gina dies... and the bomb goes off, killing almost everyone from Farm Station. Cue the tragedy, Raven sobbing, and soon-to-come man pain the moment Bellamy learns of Gina’s death.
Once the initial cloud of dust settles, Clarke shares her concerns that Lexa will betray her again. Lexa reassures her by showing how loyal she is to her own people. Now that Clarke is her own people, Lexa returns the bow, albeit in private.

At the end of the episode, we see why the Ice Assassin was able to set off the self-destruct bomb: a single Mountain Man survived, and joined Ice Nation.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

'The 100' 3x01/3x02 Gif-Tweet-Cap: I See the Commander of Dead People

We've got a two parter for ya! The 100, episodes "Wanheda: Part One" and "Wanheda: Part Two" offer plenty of dead people, as usual for this show. Except now the people who are dying are people we don't know or care about. That's OK, because there's a lot of 'splainin' to do as the show skips three months into the future. Fans had plenty to say, and so did I! I'm now doing a podcast about the show with Dahne. Part One and Two are below, and you can also subscribe via iTunes. The gifs are also available on Tumblr.

Part One begins with Murphy going insane in a really nice bunker with plenty of water that he could totally use to take a bath. Instead, he decides to become smelly and disgusting until the door opens. Jaha has been keeping him in there the whole time while following a new cult run by a hologram named Alie. Oh, and Alie is the one who dropped the nukes that ended the world, by the way. She says that Murphy will be joining them at some point, once he goes even more insane than he already is.
Over in the real world, the Ark people have become the community of Arkadia, where Bellamy and Lincoln have become BFFs, and Kane is their papa.
Octavia will have none of it because she's full-on Grounder now, riding horses:

And saving Jasper from himself:

Oh yeah, Jasper is pretty much a worse-than-useless lump now. He seems to think that having his throat cut open is hilarious... because Maya. You'd think he's the only one who's lost anyone on the show with all the death that has happened.
Meanwhile, Clarke is off being awesome with a fancy new shabby chic look. She's even killing panthers on her own!

Her favorite new meat doesn't come without consequences, as the panther rips open part of her shoulder. She gets it patched up by someone named Niylah, then goes in for some sexual healing with her to make it all better.
The whole point of this is that Clarke is being hunted by all the Grounders because she is now known as Wanheda (Commander of Death) because she killed all those Mountain Men. And you know what happens when you're the Commander of Death, right? You have SUPERPOWERS!!! Well, not really. That's just sort of what the Grounders think. Or rather, they believe that whoever kills her will become the new Commander of Death, so they can, like... kill people... or something.

Anyway, Clarke gets nabbed by some Ice Nation dude at the end of the first part. His name is Roan, and he's way less douchey than you'd expect.
Even with that, Clarke has become such a badass these days that she nearly kills him.
The second Bellamy spots Clarke he goes temporarily insane and goes after her on his own. Of course, he's so taken with her shabby-chic beauty that he pays no attention to Ice Dude Roan standing right behind him, and ends up getting stabbed in the leg. He continues his temporary insanity by continuing to go after her when he can't walk. It's so ridiculous it's almost hilarious. He just keeps going, like the Energizer Bunny, until Monty talks some sense into him.

The gang gets caught by a new crew of Grounders, but it turns out to be more Ark people who have been living away from Arkadia. Monty's mom is with them, but he learns that his dad died soon after they landed while he was saving a small group of children from the Ice Nation. 15 children died in the attack, and all they know is that all Grounders are bad, not just that Ice Nation is bad.
At the end, Roan gets his Clarke, and brings her to... Lexa!! Lexa goes back on her word with Roan as well, because he's the Ice Prince, son of Ice Queen, and she was supposed to help him out because he's running from his own people. Instead, he's thrown in prison, and has gained a new enemy who truly hates her more than anyone on Earth. That is, anyone but Clarke. Clarke hates her more than anyone on Earth, and shows her exactly how she feels with a giant loogie to the face.